Funny Jokes,Clean Jokes,Funny Pictures,Love story, Nice Quotes and total entertainment
Sunday, October 31, 2010
More Intersting and funny facts
Cell Phone Joke :) Always ask first
A woman wanted to reach her husband on his mobile phone but discovered that she was out of credit; she instructed her son - to use his own phone to pass across an urgent message to daddy who is at site.
After junior had called, he got back to mummy to inform her that it was a lady that picked up daddy's phone three times while he tried reaching dad on the mobile.
She waited impatiently for her husband to return from site, immediately she sighted him, she gave him a very hot slap, while the man was trying to ask why?
She repeated the slap, people from neighborhood rushed around to know the cause of this.
The man asked junior to tell everybody what the lady Said to him when he called,
Junior said she was saying "the number u are Trying To call is not reachable " .
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Four friends and their sons....awesome
party
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.
Those who remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at
a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied
Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the
corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company.
He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line
Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride
and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight
school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the
company, where he owns the majority of its assets He's so rich
that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own
construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away
something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his
birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned
from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations
for?'
One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for
the successes of our sons. ..What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a
stripper at a nightclub.'
The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.'
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love
him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was
two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from
his three boyfriends.--
very stupid joke....but really funny
Think in a different way-2 :) nice
Think in a different way-1 :) nice
Dumb Jokes :) very funny
Microsoft's Calculator Failed
Go to Start-->Run-->type Calc. and Check the following....
2704/51 = 53.01960784 Works Fine
2704/52 = try yourself….Doesn't Work
2704/53 = 51.01886792 Works Fine
How’s it?
Friday, October 29, 2010
Funny Story :) Do Read
Bob was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear hunting. He traveled up to Alaska, spotted a small brown bear and shot it. Soon after there was a tap on his shoulder, and he turned around to see a big black bear. The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was my cousin. I'm going to give you two choices - either I maul you to death or we make love." After considering briefly, Bob decided to accept the latter alternative. So the black bear had his way with Bob.
Even though he felt sore for two weeks, Bob soon recovered and vowed revenge. He headed out on another trip to Alaskawhere he found the black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his shoulder. This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly said, that was a big mistake, Bob that was my cousin and you've got two choices - either I maul you to death or I make love with you." Again, Bob thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly bear than be mauled to death.
So the grizzly had his way with Bob. Although he survived, it took several months before Bob fully recovered. Now Bob was completely outraged, so he headed back to Alaskaand managed to track down the grizzly bear and shoot it. He felt sweet revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned around to find a giant polar bear standing there. The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Bob. You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"
Mom's Love.....touching
MUMS LOVE
When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.
You thanked her by crying all night long.
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When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.
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When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with Love. You
thanked her by tossing the plate on the floor.
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When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons.
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.
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When you were 5, she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest.
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When you were 6, she walked you to school.
You thanked her by screaming, IM NOT GOING!
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When you were 7, she bought you a x-udball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbors
window.
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When you were 8, she handed you an ice-cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over her lap.
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When you were 9, she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering it to practice.
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- When you were 10 years old, she drove you all
day, from soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party to another.
You
thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.
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When you were 11, she took you and your
friends to the movies.
You thanked her by asking her to sit in a different row.
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When you were 12, she warned you not to watch
certain TV shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.
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When you were 13, she suggested a haircut.
You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.
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When you were 14, she paid a month away at the summer camp. You
thanked
her by forgetting to write a single letter.
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When you were 15, she came from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.
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When you were 16, she taught you how to drive a car.
You thanked her by taking every chance you could.
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When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all the night.
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When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation. You
thanked
her by staying out partying until dawn.
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When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to
campus
carried your bags. You thanked her by saying outside the dorm so you
wouldnt be embarrassed in front of your friends.
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When you were 20, she asked you whether you are seeing anyone. You
thanked her by saying, Its none of your business.
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&nb p;When you were 21, she suggested you certain careers.
You thanked her by saying, I dont want to be like you.
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When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation. You
thanked
her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.
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When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You
thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.
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When you were 24, she met your fianc and asked about plans for the
future. You thanked her by glaring and growling, Muuhh-ther, please!
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When you were 25, she helped you to pay for your wedding.
You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.
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When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, Things are different now.
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When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relatives birthday.
You
thanked her by saying you were really busy right now.
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When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You
thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their
children.
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And then, one day, she quietly died. And
everything you never did came crashing down like thunder on YOUR
HEART.
IF SHES STILL AROUND, NEVER FORGET TO LOVE HER MORE THAN EVER.
AND IF SHES NOT, REMEMBER HER UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND PASS IT ON
ALWAYS REMEMBER TO LOVE THY MOTHER, BECAUSE YOU ONLY HAVE ONE MOTHER
IN
YOUR LIFETIME..
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Intelligent Santa ....Best joke of the year
almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and
they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room,
but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for
Rs. 5000/- The Santa explodes and demands to know why the charge is so
high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly
aren't worth Rs. 5000/-.
When the clerk tells him Rs. 5000/- is the standard rate, the man insists
on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to the Santa ,
and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge
conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use.
But we didn't use them", the Santa complains.
Well, they are here, and you could have," explains the Manager.
He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which
the hotel is famous. "The best entertainers from, Hollywood and Las Vegas
perform here," the Manager says.
But we didn't go to any of those shows," Santa complains again.
"Well, we have them, and you could have", the Manager replies. No matter
what facility the Manager mentions, the Santa replies "But we didn't use
it". The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the Santa finally gives up
and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when the looks at the check.
"But sir," he says, "this check is only made out for Rs.1500/."
"That's right," says the Santa , "I charged you Rs. 3500/- for sleeping
with my wife."
"But I didn't!" exclaims the Manager.
"Well," the Santa replies, "she was here, and you could have."
Things tat matters in 1's lyf,,,!!!
When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar.
He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
'Now ' , said the professor, as the laughter subsided, 'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.'
'The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.'
'The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car.'
'The sand is everything else--the small stuff.'
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued, 'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.'
'The same goes for life.'
'If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.'
'Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.'
'Play with your children.'
'Take time to get medical checkups.'
'Take your partner out to dinner.'
'Play another 18.'
'There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal.'
'Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.'
'Set your priorities.'
'The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. 'I'm glad you asked.'
'It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a cup of coffee with a friend.'
Please share this with someone you care about.
I JUST DID.
Perfect description of man and woman based on their sunsign-12
Perfect description of man and woman based on their sunsign-11
Vulnerable. He remembers all his anger and will wait for his pay back time. He is very serious about your promise, do not promise something you could not keep. He loves his friends and will do anything for his close friends. He likes you to take care of him, but not in front of his friend. He is a complex man and you will never understand what he means if you do not really know him. He is happy to know he is a complex figure. When he is thinking or when he needs his privacy, you should give him some space. He memorize everything well. You may say something that you already forgotten, but he will remember every words. He wants to be respected and admired and at the same time he does not like people to have power over him. When he falls in love, he really falls deep. A man in this Zodiac once in love, he will be sweeter than sugar. He does not like a plain and simple woman. A complex woman's mind is his venture. Always be interesting and able to talk to him about every things in any subjects. He does not like a woman who sits around waiting for his call.
People, but this will be only her secret, so you will only see a cute woman. Every thing she does will look good, and she has the woman’s entire trick you can think of. She can manipulate men without them knowing it. If you think her going to do everything you say because she loves you, then you will be disappointed. She could be a little tomboyish and she can understand you by just looking in your eyes. You may say sweet words which could sweep any woman, but not with the Scorpio woman. She will use her X-ray eyes reading your thought of what you just said or what you are going to say. She always smiles and she can really hide her feeling. She will constantly show you that she loves freedom. If she has freedom, she will not leave you, but will even love you more. If she wants something, she will do everything to get it. She has her own sixth sense of people and you can feel that energy feed back when you around her. She likes a man who can earn her respect, and she will also respect and feel proud of that man. A man with power over her should not threat or challenge her confident. She likes to have a good looking, strong and healthy man especially if she starts to compare with her friends' boyfriends. It is a plus if he hold a degree or a good career. She is a hot lady. She likes heavy music. She either loves or hates, there are no "fond of", or “like" for her. Love has no "may be", or "perhaps". If she is real mad, she will trash and throw things. Her wind storm can sweep all her dishes and you could get accidentally hit on your head for this matter. Be calm, it is just your grand mother favorite china for she has good quality as much as her bad tempered. Sometimes she shows her weakness, but it won’t be long. She will put herself together and back to be that hot chili again. If she loves you, it will be no matter what other people may say. Her relationship will be more important than what is right or wrong. Because of this reason, you may know some Scorpio woman become a second wife, a mistress. She is spoil, but she allows her love one to over power her. Dating this woman, you should not keep old love letters in your pocket or in your house. It could be a love letter 2 years ago, but never mind she will argue about this since this is a big deal for a suspicious woman. Remember she has a temper of the shrew. If you play a cold war with her, she will treat you likewise and double it. If you stood her up once, she will stood you up 2-3 times. She is quite fair in justice, so she can accept your apologies as much as she can pretend to accept things for now and wait for a pay back revenge in the future. If you are nice to hear, she wills double that to you as well. A real fair woman, she likes to make and spent money. She likes to have fame and reputations, and never let she broke and has no name at the same time. She is too proud and will not accept status of being "Poor". She loves to have faced, so if you are a manager with small salary, she will be proud more than more money being a truck driver. She hates to think and she can not stand a feeling of being a "Nobody". If you like her, play a little hard to get. This will excite her a bit. When you go out on a date, set your schedule, but do not let she knows that you have planned this for weeks. Always go to pick her up on time or better to go 5-10 minutes early.
Perfect description of man and woman based on their sunsign-10
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Perfect description of man and woman based on their sunsign-9
VIRGO WOMAN
a clown or funny. In the beginning of knowing her, please try not to glance at other pretty woman so much. Early period of dating her, try not to hold her so much in public, it would not be a proper thing to do. She loves books, stage play and music and likes to criticize about them too. Criticism woman is her icon including big and small things in life starting from your hair, your dress , and the way you talk. If you are in love with her, be as almost perfect as your can.